''Smile for me.”
Harry can’t even begin to count how many times he has heard those words coming from Louis’ mouth. It’s without a doubt the sentence Louis has used the most around Harry since the day they first
met. Harry can still remember it.
It was the day they first met through X-Factor. After greeting each other, Louis simply looked into Harry’s eyes and said: “Smile for me.” For a while, Harry just stared at him as if he was mad, but when Louis repeated himself, Harry complied and he smiled for him. And it’s been like that ever since.
It didn’t take long for their friendship to turn into a relationship. In fact, if he’s being honest, Harry isn’t really sure if what he has with Louis was ever just a friendship. They kind of seemed to skip that mode and go straight to the “flirtationship”, which not long after, developed into a pure relationship. Oh, if only the fans knew that their beloved Larry Stylinson wasn’t just in their minds…
But every single day since the day they met, at some point during the day, Louis would look at Harry and tell him to smile for him. Every day. And every time, despite what mood he was in, Harry would smile for him. Every single time, no matter what.
So the fact that Louis is saying it again now in January 2011 doesn’t come as a surprise to Harry. Though, he still doesn’t know why Louis continues to ask him to smile for him.
Looking over at his boyfriend, Harry raises an eyebrow.
“Why do you keep telling me to smile for you?” He wonders, watching Louis carefully. The older man just smiles at him.
“Because I love your smile. It makes me happy.” Louis explains.
Harry sighs, shaking his head at the usual explanation Louis always gives him. When Harry doesn’t smile, Louis pouts his lips and looks at him with puppy eyes.
“Hazza… Smile for me? Please?” He’s asking, not telling this time, and with that adorable look on his face, Harry can’t help but comply. So he smiles.
Louis leans over and presses a gentle kiss to Harry’s lips.
“Thank you.” He mumbles against Harry’s lips, and once again, Harry doesn’t push the subject.
———————————-
It’s their 4 month anniversary. Harry is lying in bed with Louis on top of him, Louis’ face nuzzled into Harry’s neck, both of them breathing heavily after celebrating their fourth month together as a couple.
Louis’ hand is in Harry’s hair, playing gently with his curls and Harry’s fingertips are moving gently up and down Louis’ spine.
“Happy anniversary.” Harry whispers as he leans his head down slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Louis’ head. He can feel Louis smile against his neck.
“Happy anniversary.” Louis whispers back against Harry’s skin.
A comfortable silence settles over them for a moment, both of them just enjoying being with the other. It’s Harry who eventually breaks the silence.
“You never told me what you wanted as an anniversary gift.” He says. About a week earlier, Harry had asked Louis what he wanted for their anniversary. Louis hadn’t replied, he had just smiled and pressed a kiss to Harry’s lips.
Louis pulls back slightly from Harry’s neck to be able to look up at him. There’s a soft smile on his lips as he speaks softly.
“Smile for me.” He says.
Harry should’ve seen that one coming and he’s about to comment it, but there is something in Louis’ eyes that keeps Harry from asking why this time. Instead, Harry just smiles his most loving smile at Louis and is rewarded with a kiss.
Harry soon forgets all about wondering why Louis keeps telling him to smile for him as Louis deepens the kiss and starts running his hands down Harry’s chest and stomach. It doesn’t take long before they’re celebrating their 4 months again.
———————————-
It’s the 24th of December, and it’s Louis’ 21st birthday.
“Oh my God, Harry… It’s beautiful.” Louis chokes out; having just opened the gift Harry had gotten him for his birthday.
Smiling happily to himself at Louis’ reaction at getting the Hugo Boss watch, Harry shifts closer to him and presses a gentle kiss to his cheek.
“I’m glad you like it. You didn’t tell me what you wanted, so I just got you something I thought you’d might like.” Harry says, watching with slight amusement as Louis looks down at the watch, looking almost a little puzzled.
“It’s perfect… Thank you. Thank you so much.” Louis says, turning away from the watch and looking at Harry for a long moment before leaning in, kissing him lovingly. Harry returns the kiss without question, smiling softly against Louis’ lips.
“Get a room, you two!” Niall complains after watching the pair kiss for close to five minutes.
“Yeah, you can have birthday sex when the rest of us leave!” Zayn shoots in, a teasing tone obvious in his voice.
“I think it’s kind of cute.” Liam states.
“Oh, shut up, Liam.” Niall huffs at him.
Louis grins against Harry’s lips before pulling back, letting his nose rub against Harry’s for a moment.
“I know I told you I didn’t want anything for my birthday. But…” Louis whispers, so low that only Harry can hear it.
“There is one thing I want…” Louis continues. Harry raises a curious eyebrow. The younger man watches as Louis bites his lip for a moment before continuing.
“Smile for me?”
Harry can’t help but let out a soft chuckle at Louis’ request.
“Why am I not surprised…” Harry chuckles, pressing another kiss to Louis’ lips. But, as always, he complies and smiles nonetheless.
———————————-
One Direction have just finished playing a concert in Liverpool. It’s March 2013, and it’s not exactly the warmest time of the year as the band leave the stadium and head for the car. Liam and Zayn are already in the car, while Niall is still inside the stadium, talking to some of his friends that came to see the show.
Harry and Louis are walking towards the car, both wrapped tight up in their jackets to keep some of the cold out.
Something wet suddenly lands on Louis’ nose, and soon he realises that is has started to snow.
Stopping, Louis turns his head upwards and watches as the snowflakes fall slowly and gently from the sky.
Harry is a few feet in front of him, almost by the car as he notices that Louis is no longer following him. Turning around, he spots Louis standing a few feet back, looking up at the sky.
“Lou-Lou, you nutter! It’s freezing out here, let’s get in the car!” He calls out to Louis. Louis doesn’t respond and keeps looking up at the sky.
With a confused frown on his face, Harry hurries back to his boyfriend, taking a hold of his arm and starting to tug at it to get Louis to move again.
“Come on, Louis, you’re going to freeze to death out here!” Harry pleads as he turns around and prepares to pull Louis over to the car. He stops when he feels Louis twist his arm out of Harry’s grip only to take a hold of his hand instead, spinning him back around and pulling him close.
“It’s snowing, Harry.” Louis says, still looking up at the sky, a big smile on his face.
“I know, and it’s also freezing, so can we please get in the car?” Harry asks, looking at Louis with almost pleading eyes.
“On one condition.” Louis says. Harry raises an eyebrow as Louis moves his gaze from the sky and to Harry’s eyes. “Smile for me.”
Harry struggles to hold back a slightly frustrated groan at that and is about to ask Louis if they had to do this right now in the cold, but the sparkle in Louis’ eyes and the slight blush on his cheeks caused by the cold makes him look so insanely beautiful that Harry can’t find it in himself to protest.
So he does as he is told, and he smiles. And he’s rewarded with a loving kiss from Louis that makes him forget all about the cold.
———————————-
It’s October 2013. Harry is sitting by Louis’ hospital bed. It’s exactly 2 months to the day since Louis was diagnosed with leukaemia. He’s been receiving treatment non-stop since the day he got the diagnose, and Louis is tired. So tired.
He’s been asleep for the past 2 hours and Harry hasn’t left his side for a second since Louis went to sleep. Nor does he have any intention to do so. If it wasn’t for the fact that he needed fresh air and food sometimes, Harry wouldn’t have left Louis’ side at all. Not until he got better, at least.
Harry’s fingertips are brushing against the back of Louis’ limp hand as he watches him sleep. He looks tired, yes, but he’s still the most beautiful human being Harry has ever seen in his life.
Louis’ eyes move underneath his closed eyelids and Harry can tell that he’s about to wake up. Surely enough, Louis’ eyes slowly, but surely, open.
“Hey you.” Harry says softly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the back of Louis’ hand.
“Hi…” Louis whispers back, his eyes finding Harry’s.
“How are you feeling?” Harry asks, reaching up to gently run his fingertips down Louis’ cheek.
“I’m tired, Hazza… So tired… I don’t know how much longer I can do this…” Louis whispers, sounding out of breath. It kills Harry to see him like this.
“Don’t say that, Boo Bear. You’re going to get through this. You just have to keep on fighting, like you’ve done for two months now. You’re doing so well, Louis. And I’m sure the treatment is going to start working soon, and then you’ll be fine again before you know it.” Harry insists, his voice still soft, but stern. Louis closes his eyes.
“But it hurts, Harry…” He breathes. Harry’s eyes water at that and he closes them.
“I know, Lou-Lou… But it’s going to stop hurting soon. I know it. You just have to keep fighting. You have to.” Harry all but pleads, and he’s sure Louis can hear that he’s on the verge of crying.
Louis hates it when Harry cries.
Slowly, he opens his eyes again and he uses almost all of his strength to turn his hand over and take Harry’s in his.
“Harry…” He whispers, giving Harry’s hand a weak squeeze, forcing Harry to open his eyes again.
“Smile for me…” Louis whispers, giving Harry a soft smile of his own.
Harry can’t help but laugh at the fact that even in his weakest moments, Louis can still find it in him to smile and ask Harry to smile for him.
“You’re unbelievable.” Harry says and leans in, pressing a very soft kiss to Louis’ lips. When he pulls back, he rests their foreheads together and gives Louis a soft smile.
“I love you…” Louis whispers, seeming pleased with Harry’s smile.
“I know. I love you too.”
———————————-
It’s the 17th of December 2014. Harry is sitting on the bed in his bedroom, a black scrapbook lying in his lap. He’s looking down at the book, his name written on the front of it in an all too familiar handwriting.
It’s been exactly one year since Louis lost the battle to leukaemia today.
It’s been one year, and Harry still hasn’t managed to bring himself to go through Louis’ things before now. And that’s when he found the scrapbook. It was lying in a box beneath Louis’ favourite shirts.
And now it’s in Harry’s lap, Harry’s name written in Louis’ perfect handwriting on the front of it. Taking a deep breath, Harry opens the book.
It’s full of pictures of the two of them, stretching all the way from when they first met at the X-Factor and to the final days they spent together in the hospital before Louis passed away. The date of when every picture was taken is written underneath each picture, a small text scribbled next to each picture. Mostly something one of them said on the given day that Louis remembered.
Harry looks through the book, page by page, through his tears as they slowly run down his cheeks. Some of them drip onto some of the pictures in the scrapbook. The memories of him and Louis together makes his heart scream with pain in his chest at the same time as it makes it pound with happiness.
God, how he misses Louis.
When Harry reaches the third page from the end of the book, there’s more of Louis’ handwriting. Not just small quotes or dates this time - but a message.
“Harry,
By the time you read this, I’m guessing I have already been gone for exactly one year. That’s the exact amount of time you have needed to be able to bring yourself to look through my belongings.”
Harry gasps as he reads Louis’ words. How did he…?
“Don’t look so shocked, Styles. You should know that I know you well enough to know how long you’d need to be able to look at things that used to belong to me. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise.”
Harry sighs softly. Louis really did know him that well.
“But now that I finally have your attention, I want to tell you that I love you. I love you so insanely much, Harry Edward Styles. More than I ever got the chance to tell you. And you have no idea how much I miss you. Because I do. Even though I’m the one who’s gone, I miss you. I miss you every single second of every single day, and there’s nothing I want more than to be able to be back with you and look into those beautiful, green eyes of yours, and tell you just how much I love you. But I can’t.”
Harry needs to close his eyes to keep the tears from flooding down on the message Louis had written. It takes a long moment before he’s able to take a deep breath and open his eyes again to keep reading.
“But Harry, you need to know that there’s not a moment when I’m not still with you. Because I am. I’m with you every single day, and I will be forever. You will always have me with you in your heart, and if you ever need me, just look into your heart and I’ll be there. Waiting to help you through whatever you might need me to.”
Harry chokes back a sob as he reads, his heart breaking slowly in his chest at Louis’ words.
“Never forget that I’m still here, Harry. I’m still here with you. Always and forever.
I love you, Harry. Always have, always will.
- Your Louis x”
On the page next to the message, there’s a picture of the two of them. It’s one Liam took of them over Christmas in 2011. Louis is lying on his back outside in the snow, with Harry lying on top of him. They’re both covered in snow and their lips are meeting in a loving kiss. You can see that they’re both smiling. It’s Harry’s favourite picture of them.
Below it, there’s another small message from Louis.
“Oh, and Harry?”
It says in Louis’ beautiful handwriting. The message ends there and Harry is starting to worry that Louis never got the chance to finish what he was going to say. But then he realize that there’s still one page left. So, while taking a deep breath, Harry swallows hard and turns the final page.
“Smile for me.”
and he does.
It was the day they first met through X-Factor. After greeting each other, Louis simply looked into Harry’s eyes and said: “Smile for me.” For a while, Harry just stared at him as if he was mad, but when Louis repeated himself, Harry complied and he smiled for him. And it’s been like that ever since.
It didn’t take long for their friendship to turn into a relationship. In fact, if he’s being honest, Harry isn’t really sure if what he has with Louis was ever just a friendship. They kind of seemed to skip that mode and go straight to the “flirtationship”, which not long after, developed into a pure relationship. Oh, if only the fans knew that their beloved Larry Stylinson wasn’t just in their minds…
But every single day since the day they met, at some point during the day, Louis would look at Harry and tell him to smile for him. Every day. And every time, despite what mood he was in, Harry would smile for him. Every single time, no matter what.
So the fact that Louis is saying it again now in January 2011 doesn’t come as a surprise to Harry. Though, he still doesn’t know why Louis continues to ask him to smile for him.
Looking over at his boyfriend, Harry raises an eyebrow.
“Why do you keep telling me to smile for you?” He wonders, watching Louis carefully. The older man just smiles at him.
“Because I love your smile. It makes me happy.” Louis explains.
Harry sighs, shaking his head at the usual explanation Louis always gives him. When Harry doesn’t smile, Louis pouts his lips and looks at him with puppy eyes.
“Hazza… Smile for me? Please?” He’s asking, not telling this time, and with that adorable look on his face, Harry can’t help but comply. So he smiles.
Louis leans over and presses a gentle kiss to Harry’s lips.
“Thank you.” He mumbles against Harry’s lips, and once again, Harry doesn’t push the subject.
———————————-
It’s their 4 month anniversary. Harry is lying in bed with Louis on top of him, Louis’ face nuzzled into Harry’s neck, both of them breathing heavily after celebrating their fourth month together as a couple.
Louis’ hand is in Harry’s hair, playing gently with his curls and Harry’s fingertips are moving gently up and down Louis’ spine.
“Happy anniversary.” Harry whispers as he leans his head down slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Louis’ head. He can feel Louis smile against his neck.
“Happy anniversary.” Louis whispers back against Harry’s skin.
A comfortable silence settles over them for a moment, both of them just enjoying being with the other. It’s Harry who eventually breaks the silence.
“You never told me what you wanted as an anniversary gift.” He says. About a week earlier, Harry had asked Louis what he wanted for their anniversary. Louis hadn’t replied, he had just smiled and pressed a kiss to Harry’s lips.
Louis pulls back slightly from Harry’s neck to be able to look up at him. There’s a soft smile on his lips as he speaks softly.
“Smile for me.” He says.
Harry should’ve seen that one coming and he’s about to comment it, but there is something in Louis’ eyes that keeps Harry from asking why this time. Instead, Harry just smiles his most loving smile at Louis and is rewarded with a kiss.
Harry soon forgets all about wondering why Louis keeps telling him to smile for him as Louis deepens the kiss and starts running his hands down Harry’s chest and stomach. It doesn’t take long before they’re celebrating their 4 months again.
———————————-
It’s the 24th of December, and it’s Louis’ 21st birthday.
“Oh my God, Harry… It’s beautiful.” Louis chokes out; having just opened the gift Harry had gotten him for his birthday.
Smiling happily to himself at Louis’ reaction at getting the Hugo Boss watch, Harry shifts closer to him and presses a gentle kiss to his cheek.
“I’m glad you like it. You didn’t tell me what you wanted, so I just got you something I thought you’d might like.” Harry says, watching with slight amusement as Louis looks down at the watch, looking almost a little puzzled.
“It’s perfect… Thank you. Thank you so much.” Louis says, turning away from the watch and looking at Harry for a long moment before leaning in, kissing him lovingly. Harry returns the kiss without question, smiling softly against Louis’ lips.
“Get a room, you two!” Niall complains after watching the pair kiss for close to five minutes.
“Yeah, you can have birthday sex when the rest of us leave!” Zayn shoots in, a teasing tone obvious in his voice.
“I think it’s kind of cute.” Liam states.
“Oh, shut up, Liam.” Niall huffs at him.
Louis grins against Harry’s lips before pulling back, letting his nose rub against Harry’s for a moment.
“I know I told you I didn’t want anything for my birthday. But…” Louis whispers, so low that only Harry can hear it.
“There is one thing I want…” Louis continues. Harry raises a curious eyebrow. The younger man watches as Louis bites his lip for a moment before continuing.
“Smile for me?”
Harry can’t help but let out a soft chuckle at Louis’ request.
“Why am I not surprised…” Harry chuckles, pressing another kiss to Louis’ lips. But, as always, he complies and smiles nonetheless.
———————————-
One Direction have just finished playing a concert in Liverpool. It’s March 2013, and it’s not exactly the warmest time of the year as the band leave the stadium and head for the car. Liam and Zayn are already in the car, while Niall is still inside the stadium, talking to some of his friends that came to see the show.
Harry and Louis are walking towards the car, both wrapped tight up in their jackets to keep some of the cold out.
Something wet suddenly lands on Louis’ nose, and soon he realises that is has started to snow.
Stopping, Louis turns his head upwards and watches as the snowflakes fall slowly and gently from the sky.
Harry is a few feet in front of him, almost by the car as he notices that Louis is no longer following him. Turning around, he spots Louis standing a few feet back, looking up at the sky.
“Lou-Lou, you nutter! It’s freezing out here, let’s get in the car!” He calls out to Louis. Louis doesn’t respond and keeps looking up at the sky.
With a confused frown on his face, Harry hurries back to his boyfriend, taking a hold of his arm and starting to tug at it to get Louis to move again.
“Come on, Louis, you’re going to freeze to death out here!” Harry pleads as he turns around and prepares to pull Louis over to the car. He stops when he feels Louis twist his arm out of Harry’s grip only to take a hold of his hand instead, spinning him back around and pulling him close.
“It’s snowing, Harry.” Louis says, still looking up at the sky, a big smile on his face.
“I know, and it’s also freezing, so can we please get in the car?” Harry asks, looking at Louis with almost pleading eyes.
“On one condition.” Louis says. Harry raises an eyebrow as Louis moves his gaze from the sky and to Harry’s eyes. “Smile for me.”
Harry struggles to hold back a slightly frustrated groan at that and is about to ask Louis if they had to do this right now in the cold, but the sparkle in Louis’ eyes and the slight blush on his cheeks caused by the cold makes him look so insanely beautiful that Harry can’t find it in himself to protest.
So he does as he is told, and he smiles. And he’s rewarded with a loving kiss from Louis that makes him forget all about the cold.
———————————-
It’s October 2013. Harry is sitting by Louis’ hospital bed. It’s exactly 2 months to the day since Louis was diagnosed with leukaemia. He’s been receiving treatment non-stop since the day he got the diagnose, and Louis is tired. So tired.
He’s been asleep for the past 2 hours and Harry hasn’t left his side for a second since Louis went to sleep. Nor does he have any intention to do so. If it wasn’t for the fact that he needed fresh air and food sometimes, Harry wouldn’t have left Louis’ side at all. Not until he got better, at least.
Harry’s fingertips are brushing against the back of Louis’ limp hand as he watches him sleep. He looks tired, yes, but he’s still the most beautiful human being Harry has ever seen in his life.
Louis’ eyes move underneath his closed eyelids and Harry can tell that he’s about to wake up. Surely enough, Louis’ eyes slowly, but surely, open.
“Hey you.” Harry says softly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the back of Louis’ hand.
“Hi…” Louis whispers back, his eyes finding Harry’s.
“How are you feeling?” Harry asks, reaching up to gently run his fingertips down Louis’ cheek.
“I’m tired, Hazza… So tired… I don’t know how much longer I can do this…” Louis whispers, sounding out of breath. It kills Harry to see him like this.
“Don’t say that, Boo Bear. You’re going to get through this. You just have to keep on fighting, like you’ve done for two months now. You’re doing so well, Louis. And I’m sure the treatment is going to start working soon, and then you’ll be fine again before you know it.” Harry insists, his voice still soft, but stern. Louis closes his eyes.
“But it hurts, Harry…” He breathes. Harry’s eyes water at that and he closes them.
“I know, Lou-Lou… But it’s going to stop hurting soon. I know it. You just have to keep fighting. You have to.” Harry all but pleads, and he’s sure Louis can hear that he’s on the verge of crying.
Louis hates it when Harry cries.
Slowly, he opens his eyes again and he uses almost all of his strength to turn his hand over and take Harry’s in his.
“Harry…” He whispers, giving Harry’s hand a weak squeeze, forcing Harry to open his eyes again.
“Smile for me…” Louis whispers, giving Harry a soft smile of his own.
Harry can’t help but laugh at the fact that even in his weakest moments, Louis can still find it in him to smile and ask Harry to smile for him.
“You’re unbelievable.” Harry says and leans in, pressing a very soft kiss to Louis’ lips. When he pulls back, he rests their foreheads together and gives Louis a soft smile.
“I love you…” Louis whispers, seeming pleased with Harry’s smile.
“I know. I love you too.”
———————————-
It’s the 17th of December 2014. Harry is sitting on the bed in his bedroom, a black scrapbook lying in his lap. He’s looking down at the book, his name written on the front of it in an all too familiar handwriting.
It’s been exactly one year since Louis lost the battle to leukaemia today.
It’s been one year, and Harry still hasn’t managed to bring himself to go through Louis’ things before now. And that’s when he found the scrapbook. It was lying in a box beneath Louis’ favourite shirts.
And now it’s in Harry’s lap, Harry’s name written in Louis’ perfect handwriting on the front of it. Taking a deep breath, Harry opens the book.
It’s full of pictures of the two of them, stretching all the way from when they first met at the X-Factor and to the final days they spent together in the hospital before Louis passed away. The date of when every picture was taken is written underneath each picture, a small text scribbled next to each picture. Mostly something one of them said on the given day that Louis remembered.
Harry looks through the book, page by page, through his tears as they slowly run down his cheeks. Some of them drip onto some of the pictures in the scrapbook. The memories of him and Louis together makes his heart scream with pain in his chest at the same time as it makes it pound with happiness.
God, how he misses Louis.
When Harry reaches the third page from the end of the book, there’s more of Louis’ handwriting. Not just small quotes or dates this time - but a message.
“Harry,
By the time you read this, I’m guessing I have already been gone for exactly one year. That’s the exact amount of time you have needed to be able to bring yourself to look through my belongings.”
Harry gasps as he reads Louis’ words. How did he…?
“Don’t look so shocked, Styles. You should know that I know you well enough to know how long you’d need to be able to look at things that used to belong to me. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise.”
Harry sighs softly. Louis really did know him that well.
“But now that I finally have your attention, I want to tell you that I love you. I love you so insanely much, Harry Edward Styles. More than I ever got the chance to tell you. And you have no idea how much I miss you. Because I do. Even though I’m the one who’s gone, I miss you. I miss you every single second of every single day, and there’s nothing I want more than to be able to be back with you and look into those beautiful, green eyes of yours, and tell you just how much I love you. But I can’t.”
Harry needs to close his eyes to keep the tears from flooding down on the message Louis had written. It takes a long moment before he’s able to take a deep breath and open his eyes again to keep reading.
“But Harry, you need to know that there’s not a moment when I’m not still with you. Because I am. I’m with you every single day, and I will be forever. You will always have me with you in your heart, and if you ever need me, just look into your heart and I’ll be there. Waiting to help you through whatever you might need me to.”
Harry chokes back a sob as he reads, his heart breaking slowly in his chest at Louis’ words.
“Never forget that I’m still here, Harry. I’m still here with you. Always and forever.
I love you, Harry. Always have, always will.
- Your Louis x”
On the page next to the message, there’s a picture of the two of them. It’s one Liam took of them over Christmas in 2011. Louis is lying on his back outside in the snow, with Harry lying on top of him. They’re both covered in snow and their lips are meeting in a loving kiss. You can see that they’re both smiling. It’s Harry’s favourite picture of them.
Below it, there’s another small message from Louis.
“Oh, and Harry?”
It says in Louis’ beautiful handwriting. The message ends there and Harry is starting to worry that Louis never got the chance to finish what he was going to say. But then he realize that there’s still one page left. So, while taking a deep breath, Harry swallows hard and turns the final page.
“Smile for me.”
and he does.
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